Stop Hiding: The Magic of Refusing to Shrink Yourself

In this episode of Unapologetically Wild, I explore a powerful moment of clarity about stopping the cycle of hiding and refusing to shrink yourself for the comfort of others.

After a busy season of jumping back into community life in Newcastle, teaching aqua aerobics, and navigating new paths, I open up about the exact moment I caught myself worrying about judgment while singing and dancing on the pool deck—and why I made a fierce declaration to finally let go of trying to fit in.

Throughout my life, from my time in the army to stepping into public spaces and spiritual communities, I’ve learned that holding yourself back only robs you of joy. In this conversation, I dive into why true freedom comes from embracing your unique, unapologetically "weird" self, why everyday small moments of gratitude matter more than waiting for massive milestones, and how opening up to the universe allows unexpected opportunities to land.

Whether you've ever felt the sting of self-judgment, worried about what people think, or found yourself hiding parts of who you are, I hope this episode serves as a reminder to take up space and shine your light.

In This Episode We Discuss:

• A freeing moment of clarity on the pool deck while teaching aqua aerobics
• The realization that I've spent too many years pretending and hiding who I am
• Navigating the integration period of moving back to Newcastle and trying new things
• Overcoming the internal voice of judgment and the fear of embarrassment
• Childhood freedom versus adult rules and the beauty of unscripted, honest feedback
• Why pushing against your edges and stepping into the unknown is where growth happens
• Speaking your desires into existence and allowing the universe to surprise you
• The ripple effect of shining your light and impacting others through small, everyday moments
• Recognizing relationships that are here for a season, a reason, or a lifetime
• Launching the new $5 Patreon community (The Wild Insider) for extra episodes and behind-the-scenes chats
• Details on the upcoming spiritual workshop in Newcastle

Key Takeaway:

You spend too much of your life trying to make other people comfortable, but the moment you refuse to shrink yourself, you give everyone around you permission to do the same. Holding onto the magic of small, everyday moments is worth more than waiting years for a big milestone.

Connect & Share:

• Patreon Community: Join me on Patreon ($5/month) for exclusive extra episodes, a welcome video, and behind-the-scenes content!
• Newcastle Spiritual Workshop: Join me for a weekend workshop focused on energy healing, chakra clearing, spirit guides, and the divinity of trusting the universe.
• Subscribe & Review: Follow Unapologetically Wild with Katie on Instagram, subscribe on YouTube, and leave a 5-star rating on Spotify or Apple Podcasts to support the show!

Tell me in the comments below: When was a time you had a moment where you realized you refuse to shrink yourself or care what people think? What were you doing? I’d love to know!

About Kadi

Meet Kadi Sonntag, the unapologetically wild woman leading the charge on living life boldly and breaking free from the limits society tries to set. Born in Maitland in 1992 and raised in Newcastle, Kadi’s love for sports (anything but school!) started early.

From swimming at a national level to competing in high jump at nationals and playing representative basketball, Kadi was always moving, growing, and pushing herself. In high school, she was the sports and school captain, proving leadership comes naturally.

At 19, Kadi took a leap and joined the army, starting as an admin clerk and eventually becoming an army physical training instructor in 2019. She’s served on peacekeeping missions in the Middle East, taken part in exercises in Asia, and now holds the rank of sergeant. Talk about resilience!

When she’s not leading in the military, Kadi’s got her sidekick—her dog Piper—and she’s all about empowering women to tap into their inner strength, unleash their wildest selves, and live unapologetically. Whether she’s playing for the Defence National Basketball Team or sharing her journey on Unapologetically Wild, Kadi is here to help women break free, find their power, and live on their own terms.

Connect with Kadi: @kadi_sonntag

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to Unapologetically Wild with Katie Sontag. I'm Katie, a woman's Empower My Coach, Healer, and your guide to embracing your most powerful, authentic, and unapologetically wild self. As a sergeant and physical training instructor in the military, I've spent over a decade thriving in a male-dominated industry, pushing boundaries and helping people discover their inner strength. Beyond that, I'm a certified success in life coach, Reiki and Lightcoat healer, and NLP practitioner. I'm also a proud dog mum of my big fur baby Piper, who reminds me daily to stay present and playful. Uh oh. And when I'm happy, you'll find me dancing like nobody's watching. Yes, I'm spiritual and bring a little bit of magic to everything that I do. This podcast is for high-achieving women ready to break free from social norms, reconnect to their strength and sensuality, and own their unique essence. Here we'll dive into topics that are often considered taboo, share personal stories and life lessons, and host empowering conversations with incredible guest speakers, all while keeping it real, raw, and relatable. Let's get wild. Tap into your feminine power and unapologetically lead your life on your terms.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Hello, hello! Welcome back to Unapologetically Wild with me, Katie Sontag. Today, I bring you to a thought that I had. And it was such a freeing thought. Why it's going to be the basis of today's podcast is because it happened at the most wild time. And I will tell you the story. But before I do that, I will give you some backstory on why I think this is such a beautiful thought and why this gets to be the reason we talk about what we talk about today. I always think of thoughts and where they come from, their origin, and you know, studying that and understanding it, and then living every day being more aware and more conscious of what I'm thinking, so that I can give myself better thoughts to create a better world around me. This thought came out of nowhere at a time that was a typical thing that I've been doing for a little while. Exercising, dancing, being, and freedom. For a long time, I, as you know, was in the army. And there's a part of me that was always suppressed, and a part of me that I didn't allow. Now, I didn't know this at the time. And I want to share that with you because sometimes we can have parts of ourselves that we just haven't opened up yet or we haven't allowed ourselves to even see, not even the world. And we have to see it before we let the world see it. And then there's this thing called fear that normally gets in the way. Once we see it and once we know a little bit about ourselves, we then are like, oh my gosh, will we belong if we share it? And this has happened multiple times in my life. And why I love what the thought that came through today, and I'll share it with you in a moment, is because it is such a freeing thought that actually allowed me to realize how far I'd come in such a beautiful everyday moment for me that I honestly could not do anything else but smile. Now, let me give you the thought. The thought was I have spent too many years pretending I am something I'm not, or covering up who I am, or hiding who I am. And I refuse to do that in this moment. Now, let me give you a bit of context of where I was and what I was doing. Recently, I have been putting myself out there in the community for my business, for myself, you know, getting back immersed in Newcastle, where I now live. And yes, I'm from here. However, when you come back after an extended period of time, there's an integration period. And I didn't keep in contact with everyone when I left. So it's been a really beautiful time where I've gone out and met new people, and I've done this through getting casual part-time jobs, which has been really helpful. And recently I've been helping a friend with her PT business, and she was running aqua aerobics. Now, I have never thought about doing this. However, when I was a kid, my mum used to work at the canteen, and I would go, if there was aqua aerobics on, I would actually go and join the class as a kid with all these beautiful older people, and I would dance my little heart out. And just because I was there and it was something I could do while she was on canteen. Little did that little girl know that she would then be teaching aqua. And it's wild how this came about. My friend asked for me to cover, then someone else saw it in the community and they were like, you know, we'd love for you to come and teach with us. And so it's been this beautiful growth of the things that I love, right? Let's be honest. I love being out in front of people. I love sharing, speaking, performing. If I didn't, then I would not have become a PDI, I would not have become school captain, I would not have, and this is out of my biggest fear, mind you. My biggest fear was being in front of people, yet now it's my greatest pleasure. And the beautiful part about it was I was dancing on the side of the pool and I started singing, of course. And now I mean I'm in a pool where there's like there's kids swimming, you know, there's lots of things going on. And I looked up in one moment and I saw some people, kids, whatever. And I just was like, for so many years, I could feel the part of me that was like, stop dancing, you're embarrassing yourself. And you know, that's where I came back and I was like, I have spent so many years holding myself back. And life is here to be lived, not here to be suffered or you know, being silent or not doing the things you love every moment of every day. I mean, of course, there's things we don't like. Absolutely. And in that moment, I realize that I get to be me, dance, sing, no matter what anyone thinks, right? Because it's that little thought in our head. We look up and we see someone look at us and we think, oh my gosh, they're judging us. Right. And I think this came from the most beautiful moment as well, where I've been in the spiritual church in Newcastle, and I've been doing my light coding and my light language, and I've had people stare at me, they're very confused at what I'm doing. You know, it's it's a lot when I've come out spiritually and come out with my gifts, and even to a point like that's a very safe community, right? So there's a point where there gets that gets to come and be even bigger and bigger. But the beautiful thing about it was in that moment on the side of a pool deck, which I have swum, if you know me, I was a national swimmer, I've swum a lot of my life, not a lot now. However, I'm back in a pool in a full circle moment doing aqua, which I did as a child for fun, and now teaching it. And I literally was dancing and singing, and I was like, isn't this so beautiful? And the feedback I get from the class is always very, very lovely, and they love my energy and all the things. But I think about as we're a kid, we don't care, right? We're exactly who we're meant to be. We love just being free and doing whatever. We don't care about expression. I mean, we have tantrums and shopping centers. Not all of us, all the time, but we can. As adults, we learn to be proper and do what we're meant to do. And it's funny that I'm actually re-watching Bridgetton right now. And, you know, the proper thing to do. You know, we do what's right, what we're taught to do. And then as older people, we start to get this way about us where we compliment without any thought, and we are straight to the point without any thought, right? Like these beautiful, I have a man and and women in my class, they have no worry about telling you the good and the bad, which is perfect because you don't have to guess what they're thinking. And it's so beautiful because it's like they do it with love. No matter which way, right? And I loved the comment this morning. I'm actually obsessed with it. They're like, you know, the squatting thing you do, because I was doing like a little pulsing. They're like, it's harder for you on land than it is for us in the pool. And I was like, see, this is feedback. Great feedback. I now I'm like, oh, I'll just change that move. Super easy. And there was no need for like, oh gosh, what's going on? I find that when people don't communicate and don't say the thing, and I am guilty of this, right? I'm only speaking of this watching these incredible people and the stages of life where there's less of a filter. And like, yeah, sometimes we probably shouldn't tell people things if we're going to be rude or mean or to the point where we're not actually being helpful. We're just coming from a place of wounding, different. But I love that they show us this beautiful way of communicating that is direct, easy, with nothing attached to it. They didn't care if I keep the thing and the squat in or pulse in or not. They were just giving me feedback. And I love that. And they're like come up and they're like, you're amazing. We love your energy, you know, love that you're so excited. Had a great class today. How many times have I not thanked an instructor? Like, I think back, and sometimes yes, sometimes no. And I just, it just brings me back to the beauty of the simplicity of life and how we overcomplicate it with rules and ways we're meant to be and how things are meant to look. And I get it, it's part of the process of life, right? To find out who you want to be and what you believe in, you're gonna go through moments where you absolutely disagree with people. And his people do too, right? They've they've formed a version of themselves that they are so comfortable and they do and say what they feel is right, right? So with that, there's a beauty to it, and then there's an edge to it. There's the beauty of the fact that they're real and honest, and there's no big moment with it, they just get to be say the thing, move on. It's helpful, it's not helpful, fine, no emotion attached, beautiful. And there's the other piece where we, as being younger, are fighting to grow that life, right? They've lived a life, and so they then choose how they want to keep living it. And as we sort of grow in the middle, we're always testing and adjusting and playing. Here's the thing it actually gets to be fun, and I think so many people have lost that. Yes, there are times that it's not, but it's the small moments when you're dancing on the side of a pool deck thinking, I will not shrink for anyone ever again. We all know there's moments where we're going to have to come up against that edge every time. There's moments in our life where we're gonna have to come against every edge to keep growing and becoming the person we want to be. And I'm so grateful for the steps. And sometimes I don't sit there and think about that. Sometimes I am guilty of not expressing my gratitude for each individual moment. Yet in that moment, I was so present to that thought, to the point where the thought before got eradicated before it even fully came through, and I decided that I'm no longer going to shrink myself, no matter what anybody thinks, and that's a big statement, and I know that's my next level because it's scary, but also very and like it's this feeling of this weight, right? And so many of us look at if we're getting the results in business, in in any goal we go after. And we have to aspire and do something, otherwise, we'd sit on the couch and watch TV and not do anything, right? And we have to give ourselves goals to work towards in all areas of life. I still believe they're very important. And I believe that you give all of your attention and energy to one, or most of it, obviously, you're gonna have other energy, the others still could can still come with you, but there will always be a priority. There will always be the goal that is more important than the others that you get to explore and go after. And I believe in that intentionality and allowing yourself to go after something is really what builds you to be that person at the end that can say whatever they want to say or be comfortable in your own skin. Because it's the failures, it's the redirections, it's the going after something that gives you what you actually need. And if we didn't go after anything, we would be in the same spot. That is one of the biggest things that keeps me moving forward, even when there's no physical evidence something is working. Yes, of course, there's times when you can't do the same thing over and over again, because if it's not getting any results, then you know it's insanity if you're going to keep doing the same thing over and over again and expect different results. Yet there is a beauty in going after a goal and watching it come to life, in pushing and pushing to get there, in watching it redirect you. I went to help a friend run PT and I ended up teaching aqua. What? And you know what the beautiful part about that is? I was talking to someone the other day, and I laughed and said, Isn't that so funny that I ended up teaching aqua, being on stage with my energy, the things that I love, teaching, moving, instructing, being a part of changing someone's energy for their day. I'm literally doing a workshop on it, on spirituality with 20 people coming on the weekend, and I'm so excited. Another piece that if I did not allow myself to be seen in my abilities, I would not be there. Here's the thing they may not be to some people whatever you think success is to you, is yours. Some people may not see it as success. Some people may have different ideas of that. But the beauty in living in the gratitude and love of it and being free with exploring movement and exploring play and trying new things that pop up into your world, some will stay, some will go. Means that you get this new sense of yourself and life and God and spirit because you speak something into existence and you've just created a new life. I spoke into existence that I wanted a job that would be fun, would be freeing, and would give me more money so that I had something to do and receive more money while I'm growing my business, right? And that I could have fun with. And then I received two offers from two great people to work in their businesses in aqua of something I never would have thought of. This is the beauty of what I've learned of leaving the defense force and opening myself up to opportunities and allowing the universe to show me the right the way. I mean, I never would have met or gone to the spiritual church if it wasn't for my neighbor. Is it coincidence? No. She took me there and I spoke, and then all of a sudden, I'm running a workshop there, and I've spoken there twice now. And I've shared my gifts with 50 people. Did I ever think I'd get the chance to stand on a stage and share my gifts and heal people in that intense way? No. And have a lady walk up to me and be like, wow, you have such an army of spirit guides who literally came down and helped you with that healing. And I was like, Yes, it's not just me. To speak freely about what you believe and what you love and what serves you and who you are as you grow is a gift. And to find community that allows you and feels like it's easy to do that is an even bigger gift. And to keep exploring what that looks like in many different forms, it's so magical. And even today, speaking into being like, Oh, I'd like all the things to support my business, but in a way I get to curate it. Both the jobs messaged me this week and said, We want you to curate, tell us what works for you and what works for us. We'll work it out and we'll curate what you do. You're the creator of your reality. You create it, speak it into the universe, it will happen. Maybe not exactly the way you think it will either. And that's what you need to be open to. The more rigid and controlling we get, the worse it is. The more open and allowing we are, the more we are going to actually receive what it is that's going to move us forward. Because I know you're like me and you're an action taker. So the more you follow that thread, it will either redirect you or it will take you, keep taking you forward. And it will bring you to a freedom where when you're dancing on the side of the pool and singing, and there's all these people around you, you are shining your light and energy so that other people can do the same. The impact on this world is never fully realized, I don't think, in your lifetime, unless, of course, you have a cult or a following or something where people tell you that every day. To me, it's the small moments where. You get to be a part of somebody's life, and you'll never understand how much that meant to them. Sometimes people tell you, I've had people message me years later and tell me. I've had other people, you know, who I would never know, I bet they're out there. Some people message me, some people, you know, have called me or seen me in person and let me know. And it's a gift to have a voice, to be able to share, to be able to do this. And to have people and free freedom and peace in that. And for that moment, realize it actually doesn't matter. And a lot of the time, probably nobody in that pool was paying any attention to what I'm doing, right? And if they were amazing, right? I am on stage performing. You love me, you hate me, you're all the best. You are all my audience, and you're all captured. And I think that gets to be awesome. And it doesn't matter where you do it. Doesn't matter if you have a million people in front of you. Doesn't matter if you have 10 people in front of you. Doesn't matter if you just do it to one person or just for yourself at home when you dance in the kitchen. The beautiful part about all of this is that moment more than I think I can even express. You can obviously, or maybe you can't, but you know, you can there's emotion. And I did not realize the gratitude of that moment, again, may not seem big to a lot of people, but I bet you have lots of moments in your life where there is something that to other people's standards or society's standards, it may not look impressive, successful, or massive. But if you can hold on to those small moments and appreciate your life and be grateful and see the beauty in them, that is worth holding on to. More than the big moments. And do you know what? If you get the big moments, you'll remember that as well. But you'll also remember that little moment along the way that got you there. The change something in you that allowed you to be all of who you are and not give a fight fuck what people think. Because I'm gonna be honest with you, not a lot of people are paying attention, and if they are, then they either love you or they absolutely don't. And it's kind of freeing to sit there and be like, well, if you don't like me, then that's okay. And if you do, amazing. Let's be friends. That moment today has magic. I just started to giggle with myself when I was in it, and I was smiling on the side of the pool having the moment while the class is still doing their cool down, and I'm just sitting uh with myself, and I feel that I get to do that now again in the presence of this podcast. As I think about it, my body just fills with happiness and joy and laughter as I'm singing I will survive on the side of the pool. That's the picture. If you want to think about it, and we're doing a cool down, they're walking, I'm singing, we're stretching, and I'm singing, I will survive. And I look over and see someone and different people, and I just think I am no longer going to suppress, going to hide myself. I spent too much of my life doing that. To make other people feel comfortable, to make other people feel good about themselves, feel safe. But what I didn't realize was the more that I expressed and was me, the more I give permission for people around to do the same thing. The more I appreciate those small moments, the more incredible my life gets. Because if we're waiting for the big moment and we're never appreciating anything that happens along the way, fuck, that can be a long wait. Imagine if you have a goal that's two years, five years, you're gonna wait that much time to feel joy and excitement and peace and have a moment of clarity and a, you know, in a random spot on a random day without any knowing of why and how and how what brought you to that point. There are obviously lots of things that brought me there. And I just want to say to you today, what is your intention and declaration to yourself? What is a moment where you've been in pure awe of your life or in the middle of something, and a beautiful thought has come through where you're like, I refuse to hide myself. I text more, I sung louder. Like, I was like, I refuse. I don't really care what you think of me. You can think I'm the most ridiculous human in the world. You can, and you can think I'm the best. But it's only my opinion of me that actually truly matters. And it's powerful. I hope that gives you hope. I hope you feel that for yourself as well. Your opinion is the only opinion that ever matters about yourself. And there are always communities and places where you belong. Because there's a lot of us that are black sheep. There's a lot of us that are truly weird. And I mean that in the best way. I always now introduce myself and I think it's beautiful and it honors me. Other people may think, you know, whatever they think. People always ask me my name, and it is obviously spelt different to, you know, most people think Katie, K-A-T-I-E. And I'm like, no, it's Katie, K-A-D-I. And I was like, I like to be different, and I like to be weird, and I like to be fun, and I don't like to be like everybody else. And I love the response of, I love that, or you don't seem like everyone else. I'm like, yes, because I am unique and beautiful and amazing, and no one else can be me. And that's a fucking gift. And that's what makes the difference in anything in life. If you truly believe and love yourself and see yourself in such grace, and there's moments you won't, there's moments you'll do things and you'll fuck it up and you'll be human, and that's okay. But do you love yourself anyway? Not what everyone else thinks. Who cares? It does not matter. Because the right people, when they come into your life, they will love you unconditionally. And if there's conditions, they'll leave. Some people are here for a season, some people are here for a reason, some people are here for a lifetime, and that's the beauty. And I think sometimes as well, when we have people in for a season, it doesn't need that mean that that has to end badly or the season happens and then they disappear. They might come back. We might just lose touch because life happens. It gets to be a beautiful journey where we get to move and flow, and there'll be people that we have forever. People that we don't. But that makes it fun for us to enjoy ourselves in different ways and us to enjoy others from all walks of life. My intention with this today is that you have a day of clarity like this or a moment. If you do, I want you to share. If you've ever had a moment where you're like, I refuse to shrink myself or not do the thing because I think people are judging me, then I want you to put that moment. What were you doing? I was teaching an aqua class, like, what? And I had this most divine moment. When was that for you? Have you ever had that happen? Tell me in the comments, share it, message me on Instagram. Like, tell me, I want to know. I want to know how that divine intervention has happened for you. And where? And what came through you? And I love this because I get to move into a workshop on the weekend where I go into spirituality and I get to talk about these incredible moments of divinity and of trust and belief and allowing the universe to support you. And I think it's so divine and so beautiful, right? Of course this happened. So please share. Please share what it is. If you haven't had it, be open to it, be curious. Could happen at any moment. And if you know someone needs to hear this, I would love for you to share this episode. Become a subscriber on YouTube. I would love that on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, all of them. Five stars, I would love that. All of the things you truly believe it gets to have that. I would absolutely love to have that. And to share this with people that you know truly believe and want, need this, want this, all the things. I would love you to like it, comment, all of it. Let's share this beautiful story with the world and see how many people have had these incredible moments. Imagine, imagine all the comments with everyone sharing their incredible divine moments. It would be absolutely magical. So I hope you have the most magical day and you stay unapologetically wild and you stay unapologetically you. And I have a cheeky little exciting thing coming for Patreon. So if you are looking to join my membership for my community, please go check it out. It's called The Wild Insider. And there's going to be a cheeky extra episode. I'll talk more into that next episode. But there is already a welcome video in there. And there will be other things coming. So join my community. Would love to have you in there and to share and do QAs and get more acquainted with my beautiful audience. And that's how we can talk about the divinity of your moments too. I hope you have a magical day. I love you all, and I'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

Bye. Thank you for tuning in to Unapologetically Wild with Katie Suntag. If you love this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, or share it with a friend who needs to hear this. Together, let's build a community of women who are ready to embrace their wild, unstoppable selves. If you don't already, follow me on Instagram or Facebook at Katie.suntag for more empowering content updates and behind the scenes button. I can't wait to connect with you. Until next time, stay wild and unapologetic.